48 LAWS OF POWER

THE   48   LAWS OF POWER

LAW 1

NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER

                                                 

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far by displaying your talent or you might accomplish the opposite-inspire fear and insecurity. Make your master appear more brilliant than they are you will attain the height of power

                                                  LAW 2

                            Never Put Much Trust in the Friends, Learn How to Use Enemies

Be wary if friends-they will betray you more quickly, for they are easily aroused to envy. They also become spoiled and tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and he will be more loyal than a friend, because he has more prove. In fact, you have more to fear from friends than from enemies. If you have no enemies, find a way to make them.

   

UNN POST UTME/UME 2013/2014 SCREENING OFFICIALLY OUT- VENUES,EXAM DATES AND PROCEDURES

UNN Post UTME/UME 2013/2014 Screening Exercise Has Began ( portal.unn.edu.ng)

UNN Post UTME/UME 2013/2014 Screening Exercise Has Began

UNN Post UTME/UME 2013/2014 Screening Officially Out – Venues, Exam Dates, Procedures

UNN Post UTME/UME 2013/2014 Screening Exercise - The University of Nigeria, Nsukka hereby

 invites candidates who made her either their first or second choice in the 2013 Universities Tertiary

 Matriculation Examination (UTME) and scored 180 or above for screening.

CONCEPT OF EXAMINATION MALPRACTICE !!!!!!

INTRODUCTION

    It must be stated without doubt that examination malpractice have assumed alarming and disturbing rate at various levels in our school system. Many patriotic Nigerians are disturbed by the tread; since it could lead to a stage where certificate obtained by our education institutions will not be recognized by other countries. Education is believed to be the last hope of the common man in any country if it is allowed to be destroyed by omission or commission. It will be a disaster for the overall development of the nation and also the future of our children will be stake.

MY HOBBY IS LISTENING

I am wisdom; a very good listener. I exactly cant place my fingers on how I came upon this habit or peculiarity of listening to people with as much intense concentration as can detect  their intentions, inclinations, and unvoiced dispositions. But I have listened well and long enough to deserve the aforementioned  appellation no doubt. Just today alone, I have had over 10 conversations with different people during which I talked for very few minutes, while my interlocutors rattled away whatever time was left for our conversation, revealing their character, personality, and undoubtedly; folly!
In this long suffering and tedious job of listening in which am presently engaged; I have observed a few things which only very few people, I am sure, are aware of. One is that, the surest way to look wise is to shut one’s mouth. Take what happened to me and one of my case studies only a week ago. Michael Ford, a friend of mine, whose acquaintance I gained by being in the same swimming class with him, looks as cute as Chris Brown, has a stare as stolid as that of Bill Gates, and walks in such philosophical manner as would easily make one regard him as Thomas Aquinas.  His mien earned my respect within our first few seconds of descrying each other and am sure everyone else held him in mountain high esteem. However, I happened to fall into conversation with handsome Michael that same day and the  conversation went like this.
“Mike, you look too handsome to be true”, I said, knowing full well that nothing sets a man at ease like flattery or compliments and to get a person to converse with you, you need that person at ease.
“Hahaha! wizzy, you wont stop flattering me.” He replied . But I knew the flattery still took its desired effect.

THE RESULT I SAW ON THE BOARD WASN'T MINE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear wisdom, we’ve been philandering around earth for the past few months. On the safe wings of the pen, we have flown into houses as prestigious as the Government house, and have flown low at other times, into houses as impoverished as those whose occupants are servants to peasants. All these, wisdom, were done to bring us some relief  - relief  from pains which were so non existent that thinking about them now, I earnestly wish I could resuscitate, habour, and preserve them; if only they would save me from the firm grip of pain’s toughest pangs that strangle me presently. And so, now, we have met with true grief wisdom, maybe we should fly again; not into some castle; nor into a hut; but into old wisdom’s acutely sensitive skin – which has been mutilated of late by a disastrous fall.

Before now, wisdom, we have been students at the University of Nigeria, Enugu Campus. Our hearts, no doubt, should and was marvelously grateful to mother nature, who in fulfillment of every promise she made, brought that to pass. After the celebration and all, wisdom, we devoted ourselves to our studies – or at least, bent ourselves in no other direction than  that, allowing ourselves only such intermittent rests as was necessary to forestall fatigue. But the more we cultivated that farm, the more the truth emerged more glaringly before us; we may have chosen the wrong profession, wisdom!

Somehow, every single thing said in class was so boring that even though my gaze was always fixed on the lecturers, my ears weren’t.  And even when my ears suffered themselves to grant  audience to the grim utterances of these scholars, my mind never rested upon them. I remember that whenever I found myself in class, I always started counting  the number of minutes left before the lecturer would leave. The happiest moments of my doleful days would be those moments in which I would watch a lecturer leave the class – while the saddest moments were often those moments in which I would watch a lecturer walk into class.

As if contempt of class wasn’t heinous enough,  I realized how puffy, foolish, and self - conceited my classmates were, and made it a point of duty to be unlike them. This meant that since they were truculent, it was my duty to be amiable. Since they were proud; it was my duty to be  humble.  And to place the final nail on my coffin; since they were always in the know; it was my duty to be out of the know! All these slowly worked their effects on me, and my G.P. while I relaxed, placing my hopes on mother nature, whom I believed, would inevitably  prevent the worst from happening irrespective of the importunity of my lunacy.

The days wore on, and my indisposition to my academics grew more fervor, so that on the very day I was to check my first set of results; I couldn’t help doubting even the ability of mother nature to spare me of the so many Fs I was sure I really deserved. As I walked to the faculty office, my eyes kept their stolidity, and so did my mien. But deep within, things were flushing, blushing, and washing.

I checked the first course, elementary mathematics iii, a four unit load course, which I wrote purely out of grace, and not out of work, and was relieved to see a B. I did this for the next 6 courses and was very thankful to Mother nature, who had spared me of the disgrace I deserved and placed Bs and Cs on them all. However, as fate would have it; I couldn’t find the reg No on the last score sheet which was that for Use of Library. I searched and skimmed the whole wall for it but was out of luck. At this stage, it wasn’t just that I didn’t see my Reg No; the problem was that the Reg No I saw which looked like mine had a grade that COULD NEVER EVER be mine.
I left for my hostel; hoping to catch some rest, visit the faculty again and see things better. But when  I returned 3 hours later, the reg No that looked like mine turned out to be really mine and the grade that was there ----if only I could, through my advanced Information technology capabilities turn it around – was an f.
After measuring the reg No against the Grade with several instruments, and wondering at the possibility of there being a typographic error on the score sheet, it finally dawned on me  that the Reg No was mine, and so the was the grade. I had fallen; and resounding was the sound of my fall.

WIN YOUR GIRLS HEART

she'll sleep in your arms and wake in same;
kiss you in public & feel no shame
she'll love your faults; and cherish your tat
What will a woman not do once you've won her heart?

Your wishes are laws; your wants; a blessing
Your frown invokes laughter; your trifles teach a lesson
she;ll bear your beating like a tough old cat
but thats after you've won her heart

Amongst friends; the topic is always your name
Her friends turn bores; & other boys;lame
she;ll sleep with you on a bed or a mat
but that cant be; till you've won her heart

for as long as you are near; her day is bright
hint of separation; and her face turns white
a woman's love can burn to scary watts
but first, my son, you must win her heart

HOW TO BECOME A NIGERIAN SUPERSTAR MUSICAL ARTIST

The Nigerian music industry has proven itself to be more lucrative than all other branches of entertainment in the country. The field is so rewarding that some artistes are getting not less than 1m for an hour on stage. The kind of convoys, mansions, and big star friends of various
Nigerian artistes today show us just how fecund the field is. Been a music addict, I’ve played all sorts of Nigerian songs and know exactly what buttons to press, to achieve success in the Nigerian Market, but since I am more disposed to writing, than I am to music, I have decided to lay out these tips here for super star wanna bees

No matter how funny you find this piece, just know that it is the absolute truth, borne of intensive and fastidious research and therefore, deserves a try from you, if you are interested in becoming a super star.

Get a fast beat

You’ve probably heard people saying that to create good music in this country, you’ll need the services of dexterous producers like J Martins, or Terry G. But am telling you now that this is not true. These acclaimed producers will only give you beats we all can improvise without stress so you might want to keep the money you’ll pay them for something else. Now, how do you get your beats? Its simple. All Nigerian hit songs have one basic beat- and I mean ALL NIGERIAN HIT SONGS. This beat is no other than Awilo – or makosa

Of course, you’ll have to change the tempo or speed to achieve a variation. Along the line, you might also end up creating something totally different from Awilo’s beat after hours of working on it. But the main thing is this; you must start with makosa beats if you are bent on making a hit.

Lyrics

This one couldn’t be easier , believe me. You can create the lyrics to a Nigerian hit song by simply resampling the lyrics of another artiste, who of course, copied his from someone else. The truth is, your lyrics must talk about how you were poor and your enemies said you would never make it, and how you are now rich and girls are chasing you here and there. Just listen to 10 nigerian songs right now and you;ll get the picture.

Its also okay to repeat anything you want to repeat. Infact, a recently released song has the word “Etihi, divea” as its only lyrics from beginning to end and the song is actually a hit song today. So long as your makosa beats are still running; anything can go!

Video

For some funny reason, Nigerians don’t seem to like videos shot in their own country. Hence, its important that you shoot your video, or at least, pretend to shoot your video outside the country. Don’t worry, just shoot the video in a room here in Nigeria, and before the song begins, have the video editor write “Shot in Carlifornia, USA”. That would do- I mean, no one is gonna sue, you know. The content of the musical video shouldn’t give you cause for headache either. Get yourself lots of fake dollars, and hire the services of white prostitutes too – it will help solidify the idea of your video being shot abroad.

If your mind is so fertile as to invent a new dance step, then things couldn’t get any better. The dance step shouldn’t be anything worth getting a degree for. You could simply jump up and throw your arms wide. Believe me, if you do that well enough, you would be introducing a new dance step which will of course, help make your music sell faster than anything. I mean, how else did we get a dance step like azonto?

Marketing

There is a little problem here. The Nigerian music user doesn’t care about the lyrics of your song. He doesn’t care about the rationality of your dance step. He doesn’t care about your personality. He doesn’t even care about your name. however, he also doesn’t care about the genuinety of the cd of your song which he buys and the cd marketers themselves don’t give a hoot either. This means that your music could sell 1 million cds and only 5 copies of it will be original. Now, that’s a real problem.
Trying to correct this phenomenon is like pouring water on stone, with the intention of softening it. We Nigerians simply jump up to dance to any music we hear, and whoever sang it can go to hell for all we care! Matter of fact, top Nigerian artistes have given up the idea of making money through selling cds. Also, looking at the type of shit you are selling, you cant expect any reasonable company to use you for adverts, do you? (except globacom of course, which I think have begun to count their losses and wont hire anyone again) The only way to make money is to attend shows and if you pull all the stunts above , there should be enough shows to build you a house, buy you many cars, and get peeps like Rick Ross on your list of friends, you know what I mean.

Finally, Nigerians will forget you as fast as they noticed you and its just the truth. Your nonsense will sell, but it wont sell forever. Hence, you must plan for your post-super star days while you are still a star. Don’t bother opening a studio as that might not help very much. Its most advisable to invest in landed properties as these tend to stand the test of time.

And as for the girls, enjoy the most beautiful ones that throw themselves at you while they are still doing that because in a matter of months, some new super star will emerge and no one will remember you ever had a voice.

SOME STEPS TO TAKE BEFORE FAILING AN EXAMINATION

its just too easy

In Nigeria today, the topic above couldn’t be better timed. The Unified Matriculation Examinations are only two weeks away. WAEC exams are just around the corner. And whats more, aptitude tests are knocking at every prospective tertiary student’s door. In view of these chain of exams, the author has compiled a list of things which prospective candidates must avoid. Like a philosopher once said, being an expert doesn’t mean being experienced in a field; rather it means, knowing all the problems one could possibly encounter in a particular field and knowing how to avoid them. Read on, and you might just become an expert in passing your exams.

What can those dumb guys ask that I dont already know?

Underestimate the Examination: The first step towards failing any examination is to see the exam as a child’s play which a genius like yourself can pass even while sleeping. I mean, what could those dummies that call themselves examiners know that you don’t already know? Why waste valuable time looking for past question papers and checking schemes of works when all they would ask is probably what is two plus two?
To ensure that you fail these imminent exams, don’t bother about the questions at all. They are all going to be as simple as banging your girlfriend. I personally suggest you get yourself a video game to kill time till that simple exam comes along. I mean, we’ve got only one life, right?

Read all through the night before the examination

Now, you’ve been reading like a year before the exam, but now that the exam is taking place tomorrow, you need to read all through this night. Don’t have a minute of sleep!- that should be reserved for lazy students. Remember what they said about Bill Clinton? He doesn’t sleep for more than 2 hours every night. And during campaigns, he doesn’t sleep at all! That’s the kind of man you should be emulating, isn’t it?
You need to fire all through the night. Am sure you’ll fall asleep on your exam desk and that way, you’ll submit a blank paper at the end of the exam, and that way, your job is half done. You will definitely fail!

Focus on Past Questions and Nothing more

Okay, you’ve missed the first stone and you have gone all through the trouble of searching for, buying and borrowing past question papers, knowing fully well that an Igbo proverb says that he who wants to know what his new wife would look like when she gets old, should look at the face of his mother in-law, right? Now, all you need to do is focus on the past question papers! Chances are that as many as 2 questions in the upcoming examination would be culled from these past question papers. Don’t read any other thing. Don’t read textbooks (they are really boring, aren’t they?).
Lets say you are a prospective WAEC candidate. The exams have been running for since 19-God knows when- and all you need to is get those question papers and rivet your eyes to them. At least, you are sure to get nothing less than, sorry, nothing more than 2 marks.

Dont read at all

You know what, guys and chics who observe the two points above are weird, stupid, and crazy, aren’t they? I mean, while waste your time studying dumb past question papers in the first place? Why waste time reading dumb textbooks when there are lots of films out there to kill time on?
Yeah yeah, your teacher says you’ll fail if you don’t read, but since when did you start giving a fuck? Come on, bro. Go get your self a new toy and play like there’s no tomorrow till the exam day. Believe me, if you heed this instruction vociferously enough, there’s no way you wont fail your exams. That’s the surest path to success in failing your exams.

Fight in the Exam Hall

Now, the points above are okay, but if you add this one to the list, then there’s no way you are not successfully failing that examination. Do you remember how those invigilators usually look? Do you remember the “I own your future” gaze they shoot at students? This is your time to get even!
When one of those troglodytes approach your desk, tell her you want to fuck her right there in the exam hall, on your exam desk. if she says anything dumb (like she’s bound to say) give her a resounding slap and waalaa; your exam is fried! Success in failure becomes inevitable.
There are just too many advantages one gains while using this method. First, you fail your exams successfully. Second, you show those prudes once and for all that they do not own, nor rule your future. And then most importantly, you get to fail every one in the exam centre. Yes! Everyone ! all those dorks who must have done nothing but reading in the last few months, those “I know more than Einstens” like Larry Okeke, who go about acting like they have the whole world in their small heads! They all fail!
Remember what they say; there is love in sharing! Failing your exams successfully is good, but when you share the failure with everyone, that becomes incredibly marvelous!

its the easiest thing in the world!

Honestly, there’s nothing as simple as failing an examination and if you really went through the trouble of buying an examination form, only to realize you would be happier if you fail it, then just about anything can get your heart’s desires.
For those of us who don’t want to fail, I strongly suggest you laugh over this article and stop at that. STOP AT THAT!!!

PRIDE AND CONFIDENCE; THE DIFFERENCE

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This five lettered word is currently being proliferated by the media, religious institutions and schools all over the world today. When a person is being confident and self-trusting, most people immediately write him off as “proud”. Yet, when the same person becomes diffident and pessimistic, he is immediately discarded as some loser. What then is pride, and what is confidence?
Pride can be defined as overconfidence in what some one has, not what one is. While confidence on the other hand denotes the act of being sure of your self because you have self control or integrity. Pride comes in the moment your source of confidence shifts from what you are to what you have. What a person is, refers to the person’s character; a person’s level of self contentment and how moralistic that person is. While what a person has refers to the certificates a person has, the money he has, the power he wields, and other things that can be taken away from that person.
The difference between what a person has and what a person is is that the latter cannot be changed, except if the person who possesses it decides to. The former on the other hand is very mutable. It can be taken away from the person at any given time. For instance, a person who has confidence in himself because he has integrity would always possess his integrity even if he loses every other thing he owns. His integrity can only be obliterated when he decides to do away with it. On the other hand, a person who’s confidence stems from the money he has in his bank account can become a church rat if the bank gets burnt and this will immediately dispel his confidence. It therefore becomes obvious that pride has to do with the things outside a person, while confidence stems from the structure and respectability of a person’s mind.
A thief can never ever be confident. This is because, if his deeds are exposed to the world, all he will get is shame, shame and nothing but abject shame. Anything close to confidence such thief exhibits can only be rightly referred to as “pride”. A lecturer whose confidence stems from the impressive certificates hanging in his office cannot be said to be confident because if the standard of education suddenly dropped and that certificate became proliferated, it would become useless and his confidence; dispelled. Further more, a person whose confidence stems from what he thinks he knows can become a dullard immediately if he contracts a neurological aliment.
However, a person of self control or integrity may lose every single thing he owns and his integrity will still be untouched. He may be wrongly accused, ostracized and castigated, but he knows within himself that he is worthy to be respected and this can never change till he stoops low to give in to the temptations of life.
Pride is foolish folly in foolishness, while confidence is permanent, stolid and immutable. Pride is feigned because those who wield it easily become jealous, discontent and disturbed whenever they see someone who possesses things shinier than theirs. Proud people feel inferior, the moment they are in the midst of their superiors. They become failures. Pride is not earned. One can easily acquire some knowledge and become high immediately.
Confidence, on the other hand can only be acquired through fastidious discipline, consistent self-reprehension and vociferousness. Confidence cannot and will never be achieved in a day. Confidence can come as a result of consistent practice. It comes from having a sophisticated mind.
These two words are constantly used by people interchangeably these days and it shouldn’t be so. A lot can be acquired through confidence, but nothing good can ever come out of pride. One should be able to clearly distinguish the latter from the former and also eliminate the former as it can only lead to one thing; doom!
Eliminate pride today and start threading in suave confidence…
Pride is foolish folly in foolishness. Confidence; candid conviction in a cadenced character

STUDY APPROACH

For students, pupils, and even those of us who are already out of school, the need to study effectively from time to time cannot be overemphasized. Studying exposes and sharpens your mind in such a way that you become a totally new person, seeing things from totally different perspectives. It makes you aware of the various mistakes you make in life out of sheer ignorance. It gives you a steep edge on others in any competition, be it a job, or admission into any institution. It makes you stop thinking in the box. It makes you to begin to see yourself in a more respectable light, boosts your self esteem, and recreates your life, so that it becomes a lot more “worth living”.
Now, if one can achieve the almost utopian things mentioned above, through effective study habits then, such habits are worth inculcating, don’t you think? If you care to find out some guidelines which will help you acquire healthy, effective and enjoyable study habits, you are just on the right page!

Clear Your mind

When you get a book you want to study, as usual, there are bound to be cobwebs of thoughts floating in your mind indiscriminately. You might notice that if you go on reading in that state, after reading the first few sentences, you catch yourself thinking about something else, and then you jolt back to reality, and drag your attention down to the written text, right? You are not alone in that and that doesn’t mean you cant study either. Its just a most natural phenomenon which can be cured a lot more easily than a light headache.
Now, when you want to study and your mind seems to have been invaded by all sorts of thoughts, all you need to do is to relax, take deep breaths, set your books aside, and focus on those thoughts for at least ten minutes. By the time you are down to the 5^th minute, you’ll realize you don’t have these thoughts anymore, but you must continue to force yourself to think upon them till the very 10^th minute. When you’ve done this, your mind becomes pretty washed up and acute. Reading and assimilating becomes a whole lot more possible!

Source: Google Images

Enjoy the Process:

reading should not be seen as a duty. It should be inculcated as a habit- just like smoking. Its something you ought to get addicted to. You should always try to look forward to the new things you are about to learn and try to implement them in your life. It might even be advisable to obliterate your study time table. The main thing is to ensure that you are always happy, whenever your nose is peering at a book.
Don’t rush anything. And don’t tell yourself that you must cover this or that for the day. Eat as much as you can and at intervals, go through the same process of thinking fixatedly on other things so as to cleanse your mind from at intervals.

Read books you can understand:

Honestly, there is no book out there you can’t understand sooner or later, but till sooner or later, you must start with the simple ones and they will lead you to the big ones. Having a nine year old read “The sixth and seventh books of Moses” is like quelling the child’s love for books. The same thing applies to all and sundry.
Always locate and start with the simplest books, or chapters of a book. They are bound to give you tips which would help you understand the more calculus parts. One of the best ways to cultivate an effective reading habit is to start reading short novels. With time, you’ll find yourself reading really big ones. And in a matter of months, you’d be surprised to find pretty eclectic materials in your hands.
Cultivating this habit is going to get better with time. The more books you read, the more developed and receptive your brain becomes.

Always have vivid pictures of what you are reading:

Don’t just see what’s written in a book as things that happen in other planets but rather, see them as things that happen right next to you. When you are a science student who is preparing for an examination, and you are studying evaporation as a topic, instead of trying to assimilate the words with which one can express what happens during evaporation; picture and assimilate what happens during evaporation. If you are reading a novel, you should not only use the wealth of description therein to create mental pictures of what you are reading; you should also relate them to what you see in real life situations.
A person who reads a lot usually associates each character in any work he reads with a person he knows in person.
Your brain is a lot more receptive to pictures, than to words I tell you. For instance, you’ve often met many people whose names you’ve forgotten, but can you really forget their faces? I don’t think so!

A Pen and book should never be found missing in your hands:

While combing a book, its always essential that you jot down the core information you come across. This is because you are quite likely to forget what you are reading but would remember all, once you go through the fundamental issues raised in the book.
While reading a novel, always jot down new words whose meanings you must endevour to find out later. WHle studying a textbook on science, always jot down formulas and scientific names, and those other things you know, you are likely to forget. While reading arts or history, pen down every date you come across.
This helps you store away the information you can’t really picture in your mind. For instance, when I say that Nnamdi Azikiwe died in 1994, how the hell does one picture that without creating a whole movie?

To actualize your vision, you must be given to revision;

Honestly, even if its just one paragraph you study in a month, intense revision habits will indelibly burn that thing into your mind. Hence, its advisable that you revisit every thing you read in a week, at the end of that week.
Of course, you need not start reading the book all over again. You remember your old Jotter? Simply pick it up and go through it. You’ll discover that you’ve forgotten certain things therein as you skim through it, but don’t bother. It happens to everyone. Simply re-assimilate as much as you can and move on to new topics

Implement what you read in your life:

This is the greatest difference between a habitual reader, and an unserious one. Implementing whatever it is you’ve read indelibly inscribes that thing on your mind and seriously speaking , forgetting such becomes out of the question.
Once you’ve read how to make a battery, assemble the necessary equipments and make a battery. Once you’ve read about seducing someone, get your fine hat, and get down to business. Once you’ve read about studying like you are doing now, get yourself a book, and start giving it a look!
Deciding to become an avid reader today, or improving your study habits will change your life in and out. And am not speculating. There is a wealth of information out there, looking for people who will harness it, utilize it, and develop it. Why not decide to become a reader today? It only starts with picking up a book you know?

SEX DISCRIMINATION IN NIGERIA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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When you ask a typical Nigerian male what a truly good woman should be, he is sure to tell you that a good woman should be slow to speech, full of respect, a virgin, a chronic monogamist, one who never gets angry, and of course, one who must always stand behind her husband, never challenging nor disobeying him. Once this answer is tendered; the typical Nigerian audience is bound to cheer it with a resounding, and redounding round of applause.

Nigerians and Africans in general still tenaciously cling to this anachronistic view of women. They vociferously categorize women as weaker vessels and expect them to accept this view, even in the face of compelling evidences that women are in no way weaker than men. This is not particularly surprising in a country roughly divided half and half between Christians and Muslims; two religions that flagrantly posit that women are the bringers of sin, and are substandard beings whose existence was facilitated by a rib, borrowed from a man’s chest (So God ran out of bones or what?)

But is this really the truth? Should women be relegated to the background, or arrogated the position of second class citizens simply because of their sex? A capital No! Women are as brilliant, strong, and responsible as men. The likes of Paul Gilliard show us that women can be as responsible as an angel. Women like Hilary Clinton who have withstood numerous challenges and competitions, show us that in strength, women are not lacking. Our very own Dora Akunyilli shows us that women can be ferociously brilliant when they so desire? What reason then, have we men, to discriminate against women?

For those of us who are asking the question; Is there gender discrimination in Nigeria? Why should the virginity status of females matter when no one cares to find out about that of males? Why should a woman be expected to house her anger and discontentment against all odds? Why should women be expected to be subjects of their husbands, when they are actually entering a contract, entered into by two equal humans? Why do men commit promiscuity and go scot-free, only for women to commit same, and become objects of ridicule in the society? Why should women be told what they wear and what they mustn’t wear

Yeah, there is discrimination in formidable proportions and it should be stopped! Most Nigerians laugh hysterically when the idea of a female president is brought up. Their only reason for this is usually
“how can a woman rule over us?” and nothing more. They don’t care to hear what plans she has for the transformation of the nation. They don’t care to find out her antecedents. They don’t care about her passion for the nation. So long as she is a woman, she is not an option!

This, is disenfranchisement and it is even most painful to note that women, who are all absorbed in religious fanaticism have accepted their inferior roles, and seldom stand to challenge it. But the fact that the truth is seen as a lie doesn’t make it a lie. Female discrimination should be stopped anywhere it is perpetrated



In this time of economic depression and security jingoism, there is a dire dearth of talent and innovation which can never be filled if we continue to discriminate against women, some of whom could provide the panacea to our myriad of problems if equipped with a conducive environment for self actualization and independence.

As for women who have come to see themselves as inferiors to men that can never compete with men; perhaps, silence is golden in that respect.

THE PURPOSE OF ICT IN TEACHING ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE

The world keeps changing with every rotation it makes round the sun. Just a decade ago, students were taught with pens, pencils, black boards and chalks. But today, all that have become history which no one wishes to remember. Light pens and boards, pdf notes, CD roms have replaced all those. And even as you are reading this, the world is advancing rapidly with respect to ICT technology as even computers and laptops are gradually leaving the scene for I pads and magic handsets.
In consideration of these developments, it becomes imperative for the astute teacher to instill knowledge in students of this dispensation, utilizing fully, the facilities and opportunities availed by ICT Technology to pedagogy and lucubration. This is because if teachers don not, not only will the students continue to find it difficult to assimilate (having been acclimatized to the easy-ICT world), but they would also begin to find the discipline boring, unproductive, and archaic.
Hence, it is unequivocal to state that every teacher needs to pull in ICT into their curriculum and methodology, or lose the interest of the 21st century student. Putting this into consideration, below are some of the ways by which ICT technology can be used to effectively instruct students in English Language.

Using Projectors and Access Point:

Before now, teachers in English Language used crude diagrams to represent the movement of crucial parts of the vocal system during speech production. This of course, engendered slow understanding and even frustration on the part of the students. These diagrams can never fully illustrate what happens when speech is produced because, the diagrams in question are usually too small, too crude, and except the teacher who drew them is an artist, too distorting of the real picture.
However, with the advent of wonderful ICT technology materials like the access point software, the modern teacher can flawlessly draw her diagrams using the computer, can take pictures, and collate them in access point to produce mind-arresting lecture materials that show even the tiniest details while teaching with the computer. This can be further enhanced by using projectors to teach them. The effect such method is bound to produce is just too good to be true as the students get to have a firsthand view of what happens, where it happens, and how it happens during speech production. Improvement in their study of the English Language becomes surer.
As if this is not enough, the teacher could go further to upload this to the internet, where the students can download them any time they want, for personal study

Using ICT Record Facilities to teach correct Pronunciation

Teaching English as a second language in the 60s could only be described with one noun; hell! No matter how often the teacher repeated a word, the students were bound to want him or her to repeat the sound. And even after the teacher did that, the students still made mistakes in pronouncing the sounds due as they could not learn to make intricate sounds of English Language by just listening to the teacher for minutes. This can be blamed for the great number of English speakers in the world today, who speak the language, observing fully the grammatical ethics, while flouting virtually all the rules governing pronunciation.
ICT can be said to be the only solution to this unfortunate situation. Instead of reciting words in front of a class till the teacher’s voice goes croaky, the teacher could simply record the correct pronunciation of sounds using any of the numerous ICT facilities which include the radio cassette, dvd discs, vcd discs, cd discs, mobile phones, and so many others, and disseminate same to the students.
This will allow them to repeatedly listen to the sounds in the comfort of their homes, and internalize the correct pronunciation of words quite easily.

Using ICT to keep abreast of recent developments in English Language

Its no news that the beauty of a language depends solely on its ability to grow, through the incorporation of words from other languages. Also, the pronunciation, spelling, and usage of words continue to change with time and a teacher who is not acclimatized with such changes would end up bequeathing wrong grammar ethics, as well as faulty pronunciation mannerisms, to the students. Should the students find out the truth, the teacher would come to be seen as a dunce, whose impartations should never be trusted. This on its own comes with a sea of problems that can truncate learning.
The 21st century teacher is expected to avoid this opprobrious situation by tenaciously liaising with colleagues and institutions all over the world, using the internet-the very heart of ICT. Through creation of wigets and signing up for newsletters, teachers can stay informed of every minor development in English Language and other disciplines, even as they occur.

ICT as a catalyst for distant learning

There are people who cannot afford education in the world today. The situation is worse in developing countries where education is seen as a luxury. There is no doubt that the building of classrooms, hostels, and provision of teaching equipment costs money and lots of it, thereby putting education off reach to students living areas where the government does not provide free or subsidized education.
This problem can be addressed to an extent, using the long tentacles of ICT. This is because with ICT, only the charges for internet access are paid. Factors like accommodation, desks, and even teachers’ remunerations become eschewed in such circumstances and the cost of education becomes infinitesimal.
Recorded pronunciation techniques, notes, and even diagrams can be uploaded to the internet for financially incapacitated students. Teachers and institutions can also conduct tests and issue certificates to this class of learners via the internet. There is no doubt about the potency of this method of teaching, as the efficacy of distant learning has long been proven by educationists, far and near.

ICT stimulates interest amongst students:

Young people love new things and ICT is as new as a young chic. No wonder the youths of today are falling over one another in a race to own the best ICT facilities. Even amongst pupils, ICT materials attract a lot of attention. There is no way a pupil will not look at a teacher with brazen interest, if the teacher comes into class with a laptop or projector. And once the attention of a learner is completely arrested, teaching becomes too easy!
Hence, ICT not only sustains the interest of learners, but it also goes a long way to stimulate it in magnificent proportion.

As seen above, ICT can be used in one way too many to instruct students of all classes and dispositions effectively. Its relevance in education in this dispensation cannot be over-emphasized. It is therefore absolutely necessary that the modern teacher incorporates at least, bits and pieces of ICT in his or her teaching methods, as failure to do so would amount to cleaving to anachronism and subsequently, irrelevance.

JAMB NEW OFFICIAL CUT-OFF MARK, FOR UNIVERSITIES, POLYTECHNICS AND COLLEGE OF EDUCATION 2013/2014

JAMB NEW OFFICIAL CUT-OFF MARK, FOR UNIVERSITIES, POLYTECHNICS, COLLEGE OF EDUCATION

The Jamb Official cut-off for Nigeria Universities has been fixed to 180 while that for Polytechnics and Colleges of Education have been fixed to 160. This is only the official cut-off by Jamb, each Institution reserves the right to set a cut off higher than the benchmark set by jamb but not lower. This mean that most Federal Universities may cut 200 and above and most Federal Polytechnics may choose to cut 180 and above.

For any student to gain admission into any Nigerian University, such student must score 180 above and any candidate who scored below 159 cannot gain admission into any polytechnic or college of Education this 2013/2014 academic session and honestly, such a student will have to re-write Jamb UTME 2014/2015.

For Polytechnic whose cut-off mark is FREE, that is to say, they accept all candidates who apply for their school as long as they chose it as their First or second choice.

The New Cut-off Mark for Nigeria Universities and Polytechnic/College of Education 2013/2014

Federal university of Technology, Minna (FUTMinna)- 190

 Kwara State Polytechnic, – 160

 University of Port Harcourt (UNIPORT) – 180

 Federal university of Technology Owerri (FUTO) – 180

 Kaduna State university (KASU) – 180

 Lagos State Polytechnic (LASPOTECH) – 160

 university of Ibadan (UI) – 180

 Nekede polytechnic- 160

 Oko polytechnic- 160

 Akanu Ibiam polytechnic- 160

 Ahmadu Bello University(ABU)-180

 Abubakar Tafawa Balewa Iniversity- 180

 Bayero University- 180

 University of Illorin- 180

 Kogi State university – 180

 Lagos State university (LASU)– 180

 Michael Okpara university of Agriculture, Umudike (MOUAU) – 180

 Imo State university (IMSU) – 180

 university of Benin (UNIBEN) – 180

 Anambra State university (ANSU) – 180

 Nnamdi Azikiwe university (NAU/UNIZIK) – 180

 Enugu State university of Science & Technology – 180

 Federal university of Technology, Akure (FUTA) – 180

 Obafemi Awolowo university (OAU) – 180

 Adekunle Ajasin university – 180

 Tai Solarin university of Education (TASUED) – 180

 university of Nigeria, Nsukka (UNN) – 180

 Rivers State university of Science and Technology (RSUST)– 180

 university of Agriculture, Abeokuta (UNAAB) – 180

 Delta State university , Abraka (DELSU) – 180

 Abia State university , Uturu (ABSUU) – 180

 university of Ilorin, UNILORIN – 180

 university of Lagos (UNILAG) –180

 Federal university of Technology FUT, Minna – 180

 Kwara State Poly -180

 university of Port Harcourt, UNIPORT – 180

 Federal university of Technology Owerri, FUTO – 180

 Kaduna State university, KASU – 180

 Lagos State Polytechnic, LASPOTECH – 160

 university of Ibadan, UI – 180

 Lagos State university , LASU – 180

 Michael Okpara university of Agriculture, Umudike, MOUAU – 180

 university of Benin, UNIBEN – 180

 Niger Delta university – 180

 Osun State university (Uniosun) – 180

 university of Abuja (Uniabuja) – 180

 Polytechnics and colleges of education- 160

HOW TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN LAUGH

Laughter! It's a renowned dating and flirting strategy that really works. A girl who finds you funny is far more likely to fall for all your other charms—and ladies, take note: men like women who think they're funny! In addition to leveling the ground between you, using humor will relieve the nervous tension of first date jitters, negate worries about "not being or looking good enough," and draw the two of you closer together. To make a girl laugh, try these tips:

Steps

Develop Your Humorous Self

1. 1
   Keep a positive outlook. Having a positive nature goes hand in hand with a good sense of humor. Being happy and positive to be around will win her over every time. If you're able to be a positive source of morale boosting when she's feeling down, she will naturally gravitate towards you.
   
   
   
   • Trying to find the positive take in even negative situations will ensure that you come across as easygoing, considerate, and kind, all traits a girl can easily connect with.
   • Think about the people who send out positive vibes. If you're not already competent with setting people at their ease, what do these guys do that you can put into action too?
   • Be playful. Being funny includes being playful, sometimes teasing, and always looking for the fun angle. The serious stuff can wait for serious times.
   • If you're feeling temporarily down or melancholy, keep this to yourself or beg off seeing her until you're feeling more upbeat. A lasting impression of you being down is not a good start to a relationship!
2. 2
   Learn how to be funny. Does humor come naturally to you? Do you know how to make other people laugh (with you, not at you)? If not, it's time to find your inner funny bone, and the easiest place to start is to know what makes you laugh. Think of the kinds of things you think are funny, and try those out for yourself.
   • Don't "try" to be funny—that never works. Instead, try to see the humor in things, and use that instead. When you do that, you begin to be genuinely funny, which will make it easier for your girlfriend laugh. She'll recognize your sincerity and your ability to see the world as a joyful and happy place. This is a major turn on!
3. 3
   Be natural. Being funny is innate, provided you trust your own sense of humor to shine through. Here are some helpful hints to improve your funny side:
   • Use your body language to express humor. Your facial expressions, body position, movements, and tone of voice can all impact how funny you seem. Don't be shy at making good use of your physical abilities to convey the funnier side of things, from pulling faces to funny walks! Think of actors such as Jim Carey or Ben Stiller, or comedy teams like Monty Python.
   • Practice being funny. See the world with a humorous outlook and regularly try to transform everyday situations into funny anecdotes in your mind. The more that you practice this, the easier it gets and it will become second nature for you to respond in this way under pressure
   • Situational humor is ultimately easier and more likely to work for you than memorizing reams of jokes made up by other people.
   • Expect a tough room now and then. Even professional comedians have off nights, or tough rooms that just won't laugh at even the best material. Be prepared to have a joke bring nothing but a grimace to her face now and then—that's part and parcel of being humorous. Laugh it off, and make fun of your joke delivery system failing at launch or some other humorously self-deprecating approach. Do not say "I suck at telling jokes." That might be true, but it's not funny. She will agree, and think to herself, "He's boring me now."
4. 4
   Placing yourself at the center of humorous anecdotes. Be careful not to come across as a lame duck with serious low self-esteem issues, or as a perpetual clown. Do this by focusing on how your good qualities have pulled you through some challenging or embarrassing situations where other less humorous people might have responded in a frustrated, unforgiving, or annoyed way.
   • Show yourself as a fun-loving guy who trips up now and then but readily dusts off the dirt and keeps on trying until you get to where you're headed. Being able to laugh at yourself and your own shortcomings will demonstrate to a girl that you're a down-to-earth kind of guy, able to handle criticism, and that you don't give up easily. In addition, if she's certain you're able to poke fun at yourself, it'll be easier to poke fun at her sweet little foibles when you're more familiar with one another without her seeing this as an attack on her.

Focus Your Attention on the Girl

1. 1
   Respect her. Respecting a girl's individuality and unique qualities is an essential part of earning her trust. With trust comes the ease of enjoying one another's company, making it easier to encourage her to laugh. Every girl is different and as such, different things will make her laugh from other girls. For you, this means accepting that what might have worked for one girl won't necessarily work with another girl. Spend time learning what works best in her case.
   • If it turns out that she doesn't seem to find anything funny, that's a good sign that you two may not be compatible. It could also mean that she's going through a rough patch, and doesn't find much of anything happy. See how she reacts around other people. If she laughs at their jokes, but doesn't find yours very humorous, move along.
2. 2
   Listen to her. Listening is an important part of creating humor. Good comedians observe everyone and everything around them to see what makes people tick; they take their observations and reflect them back at their audience by enlarging the funnier side of life's trials or pointing out things in a light that others might not have noticed the funny side of before.
   • By listening carefully, you'll learn what she really cares about, thinks about, and believes in, all important observations for you to know what makes her laugh. Good listening will give you material to have fun with as well as to keep the wheels of conversation turning. Just make sure that whatever you learn about her and try to make funny is not something "sacred" to her, or you'll risk offending her.
3. 3
   Laugh with her. Laughter is infectious, so this part won't be hard to do. Laughing with her will raise your standing in her eyes. If you find her funny, and you're engaged with her jokes, happiness, and laughing, it will show her that you're special and care enough to fall into her rhythm and sense of humor. Just like you want her to appreciate your sense of humor, she instinctively likes it when you find her sense of humor funny.
   
   
   
   
   • Mimic her style of humor. If it's risqué, for example, use risqué humor yourself. Do this as much as you and still keep it natural. If your humor is naturally sunny and gentle, adopting a dark, sarcastic style will come across as forced.
   • Naturally, only follow her lead once you're absolutely sure of her style of humor—be careful to forgive nervous silliness on her behalf.
   • Find out her favorite comedians, funny movies, or sitcoms. Watch them with her and laugh together. You'll be able to explore your favorites too once she's confident enough that you're a broadly humorous guy.
   • Once you know her particular likes in the area of comedy, try quoting lines from a show, or relating scenes that are particularly funny. This shows her that you're willing to enjoy her humor, which makes you very attractive!

Prompt Laughter

1. 1
   Practice one-liners. Not quite a cheat code, but one-liners can be a good beginner's way of finding the right words for the right moment. One-liners can help bring about a laugh, or at least, a happy smile when needed; just don't confuse witty one-liners with lame pick-up lines, and never over-use these or you'll sound like that pathetic character in the movie nobody likes. There are many one-liners you can find with a quick search on the internet, but here's a small sample of one-liners showing how you might use them:
   • Never frown, you never know who might be noticing your smile. If she's feeling a little blue, this can be a caring but fun pick-me-up that shows you love her wonderful smile.
   • When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. (Franklin D. Roosevelt) If she's a little annoyed about something that's happening in her life, this can be a way of showing you care and a way to encourage a gritty laugh.
   • The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. Trying to make her laugh if she hurts herself, or to deflect your own pain if you hurt yourself.
   • I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. For those times when you can't make up your mind or if she's dithering!
2. 2
   Be silly. There are some truly silly things you can do to make her laugh. Naturally, all of the following are highly dependent on how well you know this girl and whether or not she appreciates "silly"; and remember that the joke's best when you're able to laugh at yourself:
   • Paw her like a cat and meow. Ask to be groomed.
   • Make silly faces. Go to a photo booth together, pull very silly faces and take the photos; this is guaranteed to start some laughs when you check out the wacky results!
   • Give deadpan, teasing responses to silly questions. For example, if she says "Do you date a lot?", respond in a cocky tone with something like: "Not usually, normally I spend all my time on Second Life pretending I have a life, can't you tell? (Insert genuine grin)"^[1] Be sure to smile genuinely when delivering such a cocky response, and be aware that this sort of retort can fall flat if she thinks you're making fun of her—or if she spends all her time on Second Life pretending to have a life!
   • Act dumb. Give her a really blank look in response to something she's asked or said, as if you don't know the answer and it's causing you great confusion while you try to "get it". Only keep this up as long it takes to be funny—it's not something to be overdone, or she'll begin to think you really are dumb.
   • Do impersonations of funny performances from comedians like John Cleese, Rowan Atkinson, or Charlie Chaplin; or impersonate people both of you know, if that's safe ground. Mimic their voices, facial expressions, movements, or even lines.
   • Tell her to dare you to do something really silly, then do it (as long as it's not illegal or dangerous, of course).
   • Flirt while being silly.
3. 3
   Tickle her. If you know her well enough, try a tickle! Tickling is an amazing way to break down both laughter and physical barriers. It's hard not to laugh when you're being tickled... The only qualifications on this is that she must be someone who doesn't mind being tickled. It's hardly going to win you a prize if she can't stand being tickled and you won't stop. Try this (and never stop smiling):
   • Ask her if her feet are ticklish.
   • Whatever her answer, ask if you can test this out.
   • If she lets you, remove her footwear and start tickling her feet.
   • Aim higher—tickle the sides of her tummy or her neck, and see how she reacts! Provided she's laughing and happy about it, all is good. Stop at any sign she isn't enjoying the tickle, and do give her the implicit opportunity to tickle you right back.
4. 4
   Do fun and adventurous things together. Fun activities that have a thrill or an exciting edge are good for invoking laughs. It's up to you what might work best but some ideas include going for a ride on a cycle, scooter, or motor cycle together; taking a helicopter tour of the city; water sliding; visiting a local theme park (dodgem cars are great!); chasing waves at the beach; or maybe even taking a bungee jump together if you're game (the laughter will follow!). If it's novel and exciting, it's bound to make her laugh.
5. 5
   Find funny material to keep her laughing when you're not around. Send her emails or text messages that are funny and cute at the same time. Many of the following suggestions can serve to make her laugh and can be great topics of conversation when you meet up again too:
   • Find a website that specializes in cute, funny pictures of soft, furry animals doing funny things, such as kittens sitting in a shoe, pigs in boots, baby pandas, a kitten being friends with a dog, or a pony eating an ice cream, etc. Send her some of the photos to make her laugh.
   • Send her funny jokes about things you know will make her laugh. Either do a focused search for jokes online, or send on any jokes you've been sent that you found funny and think she will too—the beauty of this latter method is that she'll feel like "one of the boys" if she realizes she's being sent material normally reserved for your male friends!
   • Send her funny photos of yourself, from baby photos to now.
   • Share the links with her to funny sites that you enjoy.

Get the Balance Right

1. 1
   Don't leave the laughter hanging. The moment of transition between a good laugh and your continuing conversation is very important. You've just told a funny joke or related an hilarious incident, she's laughed her head off...and now, silence. Silence will pull apart the good your humor has injected into the conversation. Always be ready with conversational follow-throughs.
   • For example, if you've just cracked that joke and she's laughed, at least be ready with a line like "And so, what are your thoughts about X,Y,Z" (leading on from the joke material perhaps), or, "What do you like about your job?", or "How about we order something to eat, all that laughing's got my appetite up" (followed by small talk), etc. Stay with the drift and keep in mind that there's no need to come up with laugh after laugh. In fact, it can go from being fun to tedious if you overdo the joking. You'll go from being seen as humorous to being a dolt, if you're not careful.
2. 2
   Avoid jokes or bitter sarcasm that will plummet your standing in her mind. These are the jokes that border on insulting, are insulting, or are simply crude. Avoid telling any sexist, ethnic, or religious jokes. These are touchy topics at the best of times and are definitely not safe ground unless you know the girl incredibly well—even then, be careful!
   • Don't make fun of women, her friends, her family, or female matters. And definitely do not make jokes about weight, appearance, or dress size.
   • Don't make jokes about her. It doesn't matter how funny you see them and how inoffensive you mean them to be—she will be likely to take offense and see the joke in its worst light. Equally, don't laugh at her, under any circumstances, unless you don't want to see her again.
   • Steer clear of being mean about other people as a form of humor. Not only is humiliating people not funny, it will also have her wondering if you'll turn on her next.
   • When you don't know her well, avoid the man jokes, including sarcastic, dark, or intimidating ones. When you know her better, you'll be better prepared to know whether she's alright with this sort of humor or not. In judging the suitability of your sarcastic or ironic remarks, keep in mind the comment by Agnes Repplier that "humor brings insight and tolerance; irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding." If in doubt, keep it friendly rather than darkly clever.
3. 3
   Relax—don't burden her or yourself with the need to laugh. Laughter is spontaneous and wells up from humorous situations and trying to see the good side to all things. And equally, there are times when laughing isn't appropriate or it just doesn't feel right. Trust your instincts on when not to try and make the girl laugh, for example, when it's a somber occasion, or when something very serious has happened.
   • In wanting to "make a girl laugh", the intent matters. It's not possible to make anybody do anything against their will unless you're coercing them. That's hardly likely if you want laughter as the result! If she finds you funny, that's fantastic, but if not, you might simply have to rethink your strategy and assess your limitations.
   • Try not clown around too much—a little is funny, too much is embarrassing for both of you.
   • Trying to be funny when you don't feel funny, or when it just isn't clicking for you, will cause you distress and can take away from the enjoyment of spending time with this girl. Don't try too hard!
   • Laughter will come by itself if both of you are relaxed and enjoying each other's company.